An Ed at the End of the World
by Chorp
Summary: Ed, Johnny, and Nazz are back, as well as others, old and new. Never a dull moment. Ever.
1. Prelude to Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
  
Disclaimer: If I tell you I own nothing, I'll become depressed.

The playground. A twisted steel amusement for everybody. They wait.  
  
"What are we doing again, Eddy?" asked a slightly bored Edd. The Ed's were in the playground, waiting for kids. They waited for some time, but no one showed up.

"We are doing the greatest plan cooked up by your's truly."

"..."

"It is..." Eddy paused for added effect. "ED'S MUFFIN CART!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

"NO Shouting!" yelled Ed, who was staring into space.

"Eddy?" asked Edd looking around.

"We'll be rich!" said Eddy, having that look in his eye.

"Eddy?"

We'll be in Jawbreaker City, no Town, no State!

"Eddy!"

"What!"

"Where's the muffins?"

"..." Eddy looked around. "Of all the freakin' things to happen, how does this alway's- Eddy turned toward Ed. "You ate them, didn't you!!"

"Aww, don't cry." said Ed digging into his pockets. "I saved one." He gave it to Eddy.

"Here, from me...to you."

Edd left the group for home, seeing that once again, Ed and Eddy must _iron_ out their problems.

The next day

"Eddy, this is stupid!" whined Edd.

"Shut up, Everybody likes mimes!" said Eddy smirking. Edd was in a mime outfit, while Eddy was in his normal outfit. He then started to sing.

_"Walls, ropes, and other invisible things that you love fall for,Come and rent a mime only at Ed's Rent a Mime!" _He honked a horn.

Edd started to cry at the fact that the only thing more stupid than Rent a Mime was the Rent a Mime theme song. Suddenly Edd heard Ed screaming.

"RUN AWAY!!!!!" Yelled Ed as he ran into Edd and Eddy. "Sarah, BIG TROUBLE, NOW!!!" Ed then started miming some walls around the 3.

"Ed what happened? asked Edd, who was fairly concerned.

"I accidentally threw Jimmy off an Invisible Cliff!" said Ed, who mimed a roof. Eddy's laughter was drowned out by Sarah's screaming.

"Wait until I get a hold you!" screamed Sarah as she jumped at Ed. However she bounced off the wall.

"Looks like we get off clean, Sar-ah!" laughed Eddy, flipping Sarah off. Sarah started to pout, but had an idea.

"Ed, I need to use the bathroom, can I use yours?" asked Sarah. She used the puppy dog eyes.

"Sure baby sister, hole's up on the roof." said Ed smiling. Edd started to twitch violently, and Eddy started screaming.

"Why did you put a hole on the roof?"

"So we could get out, duh!"

Sarah laughed evily as she jumped into the hole, and started to rip the Ed's apart.

Eddy started to claw at the invisible wall as Sarah did a series of bone shattering slams.

"Put the toilet seat down when you're done, and remember: _Be a hon, be a sweety, and don't forget to wipe the seaty_" rhymed Ed as he was thrown right through the wall, and was pulled back inside by Sarah.

The kids eventually appeared and started to clap. They even threw money.

The next next day

The Eds were hiding under Eddy's bed, shivering. After awhile, the Eds got out. Their clothes were torn apart, and they had lipstick kisses all over them

"Well that wasn't so bad." said Eddy, brushing himself off.

"What are you talking about?" whined Edd as he got up. "Those blasted Kankers propped us in their wall, did french kissing acts to us, and beat us wilth logs of Salami!"

"I said it wasn't bad, not traumatizing."

"I have to go to my shrink, or I'll never stop the nightmares." said Ed, who was reading his magazine Slug-U-La.

"about time Ed. But not tomorrow, tomorrow we'll-

"No!" yelled Edd, who was suddenly horrified by his voice. Eddy turned to him slowly.

"What!"

"Eddy. Please listen. I don't want to do this anymore!" Eddy said nothing. "Day after day, we do the same thing, day after day, we get hurt. Day after day-

"Those Kanker bumped your head. You don't know what you're talking about-

"I been talking about this for a long time. No more!"

Ed stopped reading and watched the argument.

"You want to know why we're like this, huh Eddy?" yelled Edd giving in to his emotions.

"YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?" Eddy became a flushed red, and his body was shaking.

"YOU! YOU DID THIS TO US, YOU MAKE EVERYBODY LIKE THIS! ALL YOU DO IS MAKE PEOPLE MISERABLE, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO BE PART OF THAT!

Eddy walked up to Edd. "Get.Out." he said, fist clenched.

Edd left the room, and didn't look back.

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 1:Edd

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: ...I don't own them. Are you happy now!

Note: A bit of strong language on this chapter. Just a warning.

_After that day, my mom told me via sticky note to pack my bags. The day after, we were gone. Finally, after 6 long years, I'm back. I'm finally-_

"MOVE YOUR ASS!" yelled some old hag at a young man at 18 who was daydreaming. The man had a green button down shirt, and black slacks. His shoes were very shiny. Only one thing gave him away: His black beanie, which looked like a giant sock. Oh, and that on his shirt says EDD.

"Are you retarded, or have you been slipping some acid?" asked the lady, who was still in a bad mood.

"Oh, sorry."

"What's with the hat? It doesn't fit your clothes.

"Well, when I was a kid, I wore this hat everywhere. If I go back to Peach Creek with it on, people will remember me."

"Oh...so, are you high?"

"...!"

"You know, just a little? You know I am! How 'bout later, after I take my meds, we can spend quality time?"

"...There's my stop, goodbye!" Edd tripped over a couple as he jumped out of the bus. He then got his hat caught in the door, and refusing to let go, was dragged all the way (conveniently) to the Cu-de-Sac. The bus opened its doors, and Edd got his hat back. He started to mutter, but saw the Cul-de-sac. He walked forward.

"It looks just about the same!" He gasped as he walked through the Cul-de-sac in awe. It looked the same, and decided to take a tour before it got dark.

As he walked down the lane, whistling, he had a feeling he was being watched, but ignored it. Today was a great day, there is no way to ruin it. Edd then heared a cluck.

It was a chicken. Edd petted the chicken as he picked it up. "Hmm. He must be-"

Suddenly Edd sidestepped to the left and stuck his foot out. Though the scruffy brown man caught his balance, he fell on his ass.

"Rolf?"

"Wer sind Sie und warum Sie berühren mein Geflügel?"{Who are you, and why are you touching my fowl?} asked Rolf in German.

"Uhh...Ihr Huhn war aus den Grund, also leckte ich es oben." {Your chicken was on the ground, so I licked it up.}

"Wie trauen Sie mein Gluckern lecken! Ich begrabe Sie mit meinen Zwiebeln!"{How dare you lick my cluck! I will bury you with my onions!} Rolf moved toward Edd menacingly, his muscles bulging out.

"Oh dear." said Edd. German wasn't his best subject. He then had an idea.

"Ich bin ein Geleekrapfen"{I am a jelly doughnut} Rolf them started to laugh.

"Ha hahahahaha! You remind me of...Edd boy?" Suddenly Rolf becoming serious got close to Edd's face. "Nein..."{No.}

Edd grabbed his sock hat, and put it on his head. "Rolf, it's me."

Rolf picked up Edd happily, and started to speak English. "Double D Ed boy! I have not seen you since Rolf's youth!"

"How old are you, Rolf?" asked Edd as Rolf grabbed Ed and dragged him toward Kevin's house.

"Zwanzig ein"

"...What?"

"How do you say, twenty one? Now come,The tour begins!

As Rolf dragged Edd through the ground, Edd wondered what life will be like here on in. His thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Kevin, Hello!" Greeted Rolf through the door. "I got a surprise for you!"

"Alright, Alright." Kevin said in the house. Finally he opened the door. "What?"

Rolf grabbed up Edd by his hat so Edd can stand. "Hey Kevin!" greeted Edd.

"...That it?" asked Kevin. He was grungy, and dirty. His hair grown out completely, and his eyes were blood shot. He obviously let himself go in the years.

"Kevin boy, don't you reconise-

"I reconize him, and so what?" He walks up to Edd. "So we now have 3 dorks once again." He tried to push Edd to the ground, but Edd didn't budge. He got real close to Kevin's face.

"Good seeing you." Rolf then grabbed Edd, and in an attempt to save him from Kevin, threw him 12 feet into the air.

"No worries. Say, what are you doing?"

Kevin pulls out a cigarette. "Fucking Kankers." He closes the door, and goes back inside. Rolf walks up to Edd, who is stuck to the cement.

"Come Ed boy, the tour is not yet over!"

"How 'bout this?" said Edd as Rolf tore him off the cement. "I'll take the rest of the tour myself, and I'll meet you at your house for lunch.

"Okay, see you!" said Rolf as he headed home singing.

Edd got up, and found that 3 of his ribs were broken, but what else is new? He headed toward Sarah's.

"Yes, Hello?" said a girl of 16 opening the door. Her hair was a red orange look, she wore a white tank with pink short shorts. "Can I help you?" Edd decided to guess.

"Sarah?"

"Yes?"

"It's me, Double D."

"..." Sarah looked up at Edd. "You're bald?" Edd looked up, and saw his hat was gone.

'Must have fell off while I was in the air.' "Yeah, that's why I alway's wore my hat."

Sarah started to laugh. "Watch out Cue ball, someone will mistake you for a bowling ball!" she laughed.

"Can I come in?" asked Edd.

"Fine, but you better not try anything, you didn't even take me out to dinner."

Edd laughed heartily, not knowing that was a come one.

....................................................................................................................................

"So, what happened while I was gone?" asked Edd. The two were in the kitchen, eating. Edd, remembering that he was to eat with Rolf, ate light.

"Well Eddy-"

"I rather not talk about Eddy." Sarah looked angry, but cooled down.

"Things started to change." said Sarah chomping down her burger. " After a year Rolf started to speak hybrid German-English and 2 years after, nothing but German. Other than Kevin, he spoke to no one else in English.

"He spoke to me in English."

"Good for you." Said Sarah sarcastically. "Sorry."

"It's all right. Anything else?"

"Kevin told Nazz what he felt about her, how he loved her. She turned him down."

"Why? They seemed like a perfect match?"

"She was in love with someone else...you."

Edd thought about what Sarah said. "Really? I had no idea."

'You had no ideas about a lot of things' thought Sarah. "After that, Kevin took a complete 180. He's a real bastard."

Edd sipped some beer from his straw.(Don't ask!) "What about Jimmy?"

Sarah's eyes seemed to go glossy. "We dated for 3 years, but before it got serious, he broke it off. He's now in Miami, trying to be a model.

"..." Edd looked at Sarah as he bit down on his burger. "What of Ed?"

"3 years back, Johnny was heading to the rainforest, to save them or whatever. Ed, thinking Johnny was going to a Candy land hid in a trunk."Sarah's voice started to break. "I haven't heard from him since." Sarah started to cry.

Edd went to her, and wrapped his arms around her, for comforting. Sarah looked up at Edd, and the 2 locked eyes. Their faces came closer, and closer. Until...

"Hey Red, I'm going to need some pliers" A familliar face came into the house. He stopped when he saw Edd.

"Eddy?" whispered Edd as he stood up. "Hey, long time no see."

"Good to see you **buddy**. "Said Eddy, smiling. He frowned soon after, and for the longest time, no one spoke.

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 2:Edd

_From this point on, the story will start to revolve around all 3 Eds, so Eddy and Ed fans, get ready._

Note: This chapter has sexual references and much language. Read at your own risk.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but that don't stop me, Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Chapter 3

For the longest time, neither Edd nor Eddy spoke. They stared at each other, not knowing what will happen.

"Yo idiots, Idiots!" Sarah snapped her fingers.

"So, tell me, how have being a geek for 6 years been treating you, _friend_. Said Eddy smirking. He actually had a head of hair, but it's probably his dad's wig. He smelled of musty ass cologne, and looked like he slept in a dumpster.

Surprisingly, he had all his teeth.

"Wow Eddy, you sure have grown! Don't tell me! Under those jeans are high heels."

"Well look at that, he actually made a come back, I guess dissing your friends and running away can really change a boy into a man!"

Edd started to get angry. "A friend is not one who only cares about himself! That's all you are, and also, a quick buck after another."

Eddy walked up to Edd, and with those High heels, he was just as tall as him. "Care to say that again?"

Edd walked up closer to him. "ONE.QUICK.BUCK." Edd walked right out the door. 'Going to make me late with Rolf!'

"That's right, run you asshole!" Eddy yelled. He turned around and saw Sarah staring at him angrily. "What?"

Sarah pushed Eddy to the ground, and grabbed his feet. "I'll be needing those high heels back."

She tore the heels off his feet, and put them down right next to her chair. Sarah got a book, and leaned over the table. The Idiot's Guide to Cartooning was on the cover.

Eddy got back up on his feet. Out of the 6 years, he has grown 1 foot. "What was he doing here?"

"He wants to come back and live here, Duh."

"Why?"

"Who the hell knows? I would leave this town if I had a chance."

"And what, become a cartoonist?" Eddy jumped on the table, and places his hand on Sarah's back. "You're 17, aren't you?"

"16" Eddy grinned. You know, I just talked to an important client while selling him a car we call 'The Heap' He wouldn't take the car, but said he owns a margin of **Cartoon Network**!" Eddy tries some suspense music.

Sarah started to listen. "I told him, a friend of mine is a cartoonist herself. Her art is as beautiful, and other art terms, as she." Eddy rubbed her back while talking. "He said he could use new meat on the staff."

"Really, then let's call him-

"bu-bu-bu" Eddy then place his hand up in the air. "Now listen, I can help you, but 1st..."He grabbed Sarah ass, and squeezed. "I can make you a star, anything you want, and you just have to do one thing.

"So, you're telling me if I do you a favor, you'll do me one?" Sarah said this very seductively. Eddy started to drool. Sarah pretended to think about it.

"...Alright, I made my decision, No..." She then focused all her energy into her right hand. "And **NO**!"

Sarah spun around, and with her right hand, now a fist, sent a whirling pain of hurt and torment into Eddy's jaw, which as usual, didn't see it coming. As Eddy went right through a wall, he started to laugh hysterically at the fact that his plan didn't work. Again.

He landed on the ground, his mouth was wide open, his face bloody, and he was foaming at the mouth.

'Just like old times' Sarah smiled, and walked up to Eddy. "I can talk to you about how what you did was sexual harassment, how uncomfortable you made me feel, how I could make it on my own, but... She stood over Eddy, who was starting to twitch. "I for one don't like after school specials!"

she laughed with glee and walked back inside. "You're paying for my wall jackass!" If Eddy weren't paralyzed at the moment, he would have started to cry.

............................................................................ ....................................................................

"Thanks for the meal, Rolf!" said Edd as he walked out of Rolf's house, holding his stomach in pain.

"Come again, and if you're lucky, the fermented juice will be served without eggs!" Edd zipped off Rolf's property so he can vomit and have a good cry.

"Wow 6:30 already? Time fly's when you're catching up with old friends." Edd suddenly became sick again. He swallowed, and walked back to Sarah's. While walking, he started to feel like he was going to vomit, but then his eyes got all blurry.

'What was in that stuff?' thought Edd as he tripped over his shoes, and lay on the floor. His eyes started to wander, and he started to dream...

.................................................................................................................................................

"Day after day, you do this!" said a young Double D. The trio was in Edd's room, sulking after their last scam, the Raccoon/Mutant/Other crap. Eddy finally gave on tweaking it.

"Do what?" asked Eddy, who was picking off prickles off Edd's cactus Jim.

"We spent one day doing the same thing, and for what?"

"To fleece the masses!" said Ed.

"Shut up!" screamed Edd. "...I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you."

"Who are you mad, huh? Me?" Said Eddy as he got up. "Why?"

"We should not be spending our time planning scams, this should not be our thing."

Eddy started to laugh. "You're so right. We should not have spent so much time on such a crappy scam.

"Eddy, did you even listen to me?"

"Yeah I listened, and you were right, I was being stubborn. See you tomorrow guys." Eddy left the house and went home, took a bath, and went to bed. He heard nothing of what Edd said, or actually, denied the conversation.

"Do you see Ed, that jerk!" yelled Edd. Ed was watching Edd rant.

"How is he a jerk Double D?"

"Ed, if he's not making everyone's life miserable, he's forcing you and I into scams."

"You don't like taking people's money, Double D?" Edd looked out of his window, and looked out at the people's houses.

"I used to think Eddy was alright. Yeah, I took the money, yeah I like it, but I'm tired. "

He looked at Ed. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to scam kids. I don't want to be an outcast. I don't..."

"Don't what?"

"I don't want to be friends with Eddy, I want to be friends with someone else, who doesn't make you uncomfortable, or hurt you, physically or mentally." Ed wanted to say the right thing. The thing that would make Edd feel better, something to stop the cycle of eventuall anger and resentment.

He then saw the clock."I have to get home Double D. Godzilla vs. King Kong, both versions, uncut, no commercials."

"...I'll see you later." As Ed left Edd in his room, Edd went down, and laid on his bed. "Tomorrow, I'll tell him. Tomorrow."

.........................................................................................................

"Tomorrow didn't come for a long time," said Edd, and he passed out on the pavement.


	4. Chapter 3:Ed

Hello all! It is Chorp, here to present the next chapter! To my fans, old and new, thanks for hanging in there. I assure you, the chapters will become more creative, and they won't get erased... You here that, ! You can't silence me forever!! On with the story.  
  
Disclaimer: Right... I don't own a thing...Not even South America...  
  
Chapter 4-Ed  
  
Meanwhile... In Brazil...  
  
A giant heads through a rainforest. He wears a white T-shirt, with black pants. In his hands were 2 black bags. He knew he had to keep moving. Soon he heard a low growl.  
  
"Huh?" He then sees two jaded eyes in the bushes. "Stay back, Kung Fu is surprisingly fast! Said the giant as he walked backwards away from the eyes, which came closer.  
  
"AHH! Chupacabra! Yelled the giant as he ran. The eyes, which revealed a tiger, ran after him.  
  
The Giant runs and runs, and for some reason, he tilts his body back as he runs. Nonetheless, the tiger couldn't catch him. The Giant looks back, and looks forward.  
  
He sees a cliff.  
  
He starts to run upright and sticked his left hand up into the air. He ran closer and closer. When he got to the cliff, He jumped.  
  
"HI HO SILVER, AWAY!" He yelled as he went up into the air. The tiger roared, and took another way down the cliff.  
  
"We all fall down!" he said. He actually stopped in the air, made sure he had the bags in both hands. He looked down, and as if he was in a cartoon, went headfirst down.  
  
As if by instinct, he opened his arms out, like he was flying, and with his left leg, he propelled himself into a spin.  
  
"IIIIIIIIIII GETTTINGGG DIZZZZZZY!" He laughed, as he spun to the ground.  
  
A black man of average height was walking toward a house in front of him. His hair was curly, and he wore a pair if shorts and shirt. He stopped moving.  
  
"Are you sure?" said the man out of nowhere. Nothing was said. "You aren't even 1 mile away, how- Alright, I'll move." He sidestepped 3 feet, and the giant drilled 5 feet through the ground.  
  
"Whoa!! LET'S GO AGAIN! LET'S GO AGAIN!" laughed the giant as he crawled out of the crater.  
  
"Hey Ed." said the man. "Did you bring my soy cakes?" 'Thanks Plank' he thought. 'Not even termites can stop you.'  
  
"Johnny, look, Chupacabra!" whined Ed as he pointed at the tiger who appeared. The tiger growled softly.  
  
"ED! Don't blaspheme our guest!" scolded Johnny. "Come on in..." The tiger went inside and Ed went in as well.  
  
.............................................................  
  
So, Johnny, can we go home?" asked Ed as he started to eat his prime ribs, which were barely cooked. The tiger stared at the ribs, and drooled.  
  
"Well, the construction workers gave up this morning. Nazz told me at the phones."  
  
"Where is she?" the tiger inched closer to the ribs.  
  
"She's at the airport, taking the next plane to Peach Creek."  
  
"Why are we here?" let's go!" While Ed was talking, the tiger swiped the ribs, and took a bite.  
  
"Charlie! That's my rib!" He whined, and tackled the tiger. The tiger roared, and they wrestled.  
  
"Charlie?" asked Johnny.  
  
"Charlie the Chupacabra!" said Ed as he was bitten at the jugular. Ed grabbed the tiger, and threw him into a wall. "MY ribs!" he said, as he put ribs, now full of tiger drool, in his mouth. "HA!"  
  
With a roar, the tiger attacked Ed, and the two kept fighting.  
  
"Well, I want to go home, too, but I couldn't leave Plank. He's barely survived those termites, and we've been with each other forever!" Johnny finished his tofu dogs. "Night Ed, Charlie."  
  
"Night Johnny" said Ed as he grabbed Charlie, and kicked him out, and went back inside. In a Flintstone sense, Charlie jumped into a window, and kicks Ed out.  
  
The whole rainforest was awakened by Ed, who was shouting out Wilma.  
  
.........................................................................................  
  
The Next day...  
  
"Alright Ed. Said Johnny. They were at the town square. I'm going to get us some plane tickets. Ed, you get Plank. He's at the furniture hospital, oh, and feed Charlie." Charlie was with them, and he was licking Ed's fingers.  
  
"He's not hungry, he's playing!" said Ed as he petted Charlie. Charlie licked Ed's hand, and closed his mouth in his arm. "Uh, Johnny?"  
  
Johnny pulled out 10 Pesos. "Here, get him something fresh. We'll meet up at the airport in an hour."  
  
Johnny ran off. Charlie's grip tightened. Ed heads toward the Deli, so the blood seeping into Charlie's mouth won't be his own.  
  
"I'll take 3 of those lamb chops. Chupacabra loves lambs." Said Ed, smiling. The deli man stares at him.  
  
"Que?" {What}  
  
Ed looks at him confused. "What?"  
  
"Que?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Que?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Que?"  
  
Charlie's grip tightened. Ed winced. "I don't have time for this!"  
  
"...Que?"  
  
Ed picks up the tiger, and places him on the counter. "This Chupacabra is eating me! Are you going to help?!" The deli man looked at Ed, and at the tiger. With a scream, he ran through the wall, running for a tiger that wasn't even interested. Ed pulls out the lamb, and dangles it in front of Charlie. Charlie tightens.  
  
"Ow." Ed pulls out some Flank. Charlie growls, and bites. "**OW**!" Ed pulls out some Prime Rib that was exactly the same kind he had yesterday. The Tiger grabbed at the Ribs, and started to eat.

"I won't be long!" said Ed. "I'm going to find Plank." He went in search for the furnished hospital, which was right next door.

.......................................................................

"So, you're at the city?" asked Johnny on the telephone. On the other side was Nazz.

"Yeah...I called Eddy, and he said he'll give me a ride. He was awfully happy to hear from me." Nazz no longer seemed like the short haired ditz she was as a child.

Her hair is long, and is pretty thick. She gained weight, but it was what the doctor ordered. Anorexia is a scary symptom. Nonetheless, she's full figured, and very much beautiful.

'Anyone would be happy to hear from you.' thought Johnny. "I can't believe you actually came and helped. You don't seem like the helping type."

Nazz laughed. "If my friends needed help, I will always be there." 'Actually, I was bored.' thought Nazz.

"Thanks for your help Nazz. You were great." 'I love you so much it hurts.'

"Your welcome handsome." 'I hope something's good on.'

"I'll see you in 2 days." said Johnny, and hung up. When he turned around, there was Ed, Charlie, and-

"PLANK!" yelled Johnny in delight as he grabbed Plank from Ed. "I missed you **so **much! He hugged the hunk of wood.

Ed looks down at Charlie. "Now how come we don't do that?"

Charlie growls at him. {I don't hug lesser beings} he proceded to lick himself. Ed in a huff goes off to find a burger.

Johnny looks up at Plank. The years have not been to good to him. After Johnny found Ed in his trunk when they were in Chihuahua, Mexico, Ed was delirious, talking about candycanes. Seeing Plank, he imagined a chocolate giant tootsie roll, and proceeded to take a bite of the hunk of wood.

There wasn't a force on Earth that was able to stop Johnny from letting out a can of Whup-ass. (Hadn't heard that one in a while!)

After Johnny _forced _Ed to spit out Planks head, he took the two parts to a carpenter, who he called the wood doctor.It took 2 days to _heal _Plank, and Plank wasn't the same. After Ed said he was sorry, Johnny took Ed with him.Johnny just couldn't leave him.

When they got to the rainforest in Brazil, they barely had any money to rent a room, so Johnny suggested they sleep outside.

In the middle of the night, Johnny woke to Plank screaming. He had termites going in right through.

The carpenter there said he'll do his best, but so nothing bad happens to the survivor, he'll take care of Plank until they leave.

After Johnny left, the carpenter used Plank as a paperweight, and a coaster.

"I want to thank you for calling me out yesterday. Ed would have drilled me to dust.

"..."

Johnny laughs. "That is so true. Come on, lets get Ed. He turns around. And Charlie."

3 minutes later

Finally they are on the plane. Johnny looks out of his window and laughs. "We're finally going home!" he said to Plank, who was in the chair in front of him.

He was answered by a purr. In shock, he turns around, and finds a tiger in women's clothing. He had a bonnet and a veil on, so no one can notice him. Ed was watcing the inflight movie.

"Ed! what is Charlie doing here?"

Ed looks at him. "I couldn't just leave him, so he's coming with us."

"He's a tiger!" whispered Johnny

"No, he's my grandma!" laughed Ed as he petted _grandma._ Grandma swiped at Ed, and took a bite, and closed his mouth over Ed's arm.

"Uhh, stewerdess?" said Ed. "My grandma's getting hungry. She and I will take 2 prime ribs, and make them rare." He then saw Charlie's eyes. "O, and hurry!"

Johnny laughed at poor Ed, and decided to watch the movie.


	5. Prelude to Chapter 4

Hey, all you happy readers, what's up! Sorry for the no update, but you know, moving, no computer-It'll do that to you. Also, Brain dead from trying to come up with chapters to introduce Ed, Nazz, and Johnny. Wasn't able to, so I decided to go forward in time 1 week.

Disclaimer: Do I own anything, you ask? The question is, do you?

7:00-

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!" cackled The Doodle, Rolf's only, and favorite rooster. Though he didn't look to good, he continued to wake up the Cul-de-sac with his crowing. A yawn was heard from the tool shed, and a bit of muttering.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO"

"Shut up!" yelled Kevin as he walked out of the shed, body in ailment of the dreaded hangover. "I need a smoke. Bad..."

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO"

He tilted over and almost tripped over his bagged feet, but didn't; He went around into Rolf's front door.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO"

"SHUT UP!" 'That was some night.' He laughed to himself, feeling a bit groggy. "Alcoholic milk, who knew?" he laughed out loud. He then groaned as he rubbed his ass.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO"

**"SHUT UP!"** he yelled throughout the house. He was answered with-

"Sie schlossen oben!" (You shut up!) Looking to the left, there was Rolf, jug in one hand, pillow in the other.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO"

Smelling something heavenly, which is odd in Rolf's house Kevin looked into the kitchen door. He saw Ed in a muumuu, drooling all over the kitchen table, sleeping. Edd was whistling a tune, cooking a hearty plate of breakfast. Kevin went back into the room, and shook Rolf.

"What are they doing here?" he said with hatred. Rolf opened his eyes.

"Nicht erinnern Sie sich? ED Junge und doppelter D ED Junge kamen bis zum gestern Abend. Ich bat sie, Frühstück zu bilden." (Don't you remember? Ed boy and Double D Ed boy came by last night. I asked them to make breakfast.)

He started to go back to sleep. Kevin slapped him.

"English!" Rolf huffed, not able to speak clear English in the morning.

"...Ed boy came by, they make breakfast. Leave me alone, or I stick 2 more bottles into you Esel!" (Ass) Rolf smiled, remembering last night, and started to laugh.

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO

Kevin was horrified, and looked at his bum. Upon shaking it, you can hear 5 bottles clang up against each other roughly. His eyes widened, jaw dropped.

"Das ist irgendein Talent, das Sie dort... erhielten" said Rolf, smiling. (That's some talent you got there...)

He frowned suddenly, and pulled out 5 dollars out of his pockets.

Ich wurde über belief.DON'T hinaus, das erschrocken SIE MICH ÜBERHAUPT ZEIGEN, DASS WIEDER, GETRUNKEN ODER ANDERS! (I was horrified beyond belief. DON'T YOU EVER SHOW ME THAT AGAIN, DRUNK OR OTHERWISE!) Rolf hiccuped, and threw the bill at Kevin, who caught it. On the bill in red letters, was the words: Bet Money.

Kevin looked back, but Rolf passed out. "Well." He said, at least it can't get any worse..." He looked down at his feet, and saw a photo in his bag. Upon inspecting it, he saw...you know, I rather not say. On the back it said:

This photo is copy. You're going to be a household name, sincerely, EDDY.

"EDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" screamed Kevin, in sheer anger. A loud Shut up was heard in German, and a crash silenced it all.

Never a dull moment.Ever.


	6. Chapter 4:Eddy

1:00-

"Yes, hello, may I help you?"

"Yes, you may."

"...What is it do you need?"

"I need to speak to Edward."

"Okay...May I ask who is asking for him?"

"You may."

The secretary looked funny at Ed, who towered over her.

"Can you not do that please."

"Oh, sorry." Muttered Ed sheepishly. "Old habits die hard." The secretary, unamused, presses down on her intercom.

"Sir, someone has came by for you." She let the intercom button go.

"Is it the Feds?" Eddy's voice was starting to crack, as if he was crying.

"Eddy, it's me, Lumpy!" yelled Ed into the intercom.

"Uh, Lumpy, I didn't press the intercom button yet." Said the secretary, annoyed by the oaf.

"Well, duh!" Ed walked toward Eddy's door. "Eddy could easily hear me without some...box!" he scoffed. He went inside, ignoring the secretary's voice

"Eddy, you ham, how's it- Ed stopped as he saw how Eddy's office looked.

The walls were bare, exposing the dim, gray walls. The floor, which Eddy was sitting on, was a wooden mess. The whole floor was sticky, and smelled funny, and you could easily find where the termites have eaten through the wood.

"Ew."

"Dammit, Ed what do you want!" yelled Eddy in an unknown rage.

Ed shifted to the side. "Where have you been friend?" Ed shifted to the other side. "Have you forgotten that you was to pick me up..." He looks at his watch. "...5 days ago in 5 minutes?"

Silence.

"You didn't even pick up Nazz!" He bent over and grabbed his toes.

Silence.

"I've been home for days, and you didn't even come to see me. Don't you even care? OHSAA!" Ed pulled his toes up, causing him to fall on his back. "Damn."

Silence.

Ed looked at Eddy, dumbfounded. "Case in point, friend, you don't care?"

"No, I don't. Go away."

Ed looked throughout this room, believing that this was impossible. How could his number one friend, not care? Unless, it was not him, but it was the-

"THE ROOM'S EVIL, EDDY! IT'S STEALING YOUR SUNSHINE AND EMOTIONS!!

Eddy stood up. "Ed," he said slowly. "I'm going to give you the count of-

Yahtzee!" Ed back handed the poor Eddy, and grabbed him by the shirt.

"This place is more bleak than Johnny's taste for garlic cloves!" Before Eddy could recover, Ed slapped him again, knocking him senseless. "Don't worry, this'll be our grandest escape."

The world started going clouded around Eddy, and was soon dark, and cold.

Chapter 4-Eddy

"Eddy, do you remember the time, when we made those muffins, and you said I ate all of them, and I said I had one? I had two. I was still hungry."

Eddy, who just regained conscious 5 minutes ago, looked at Ed insultingly. "Ed, do you remember the time when you came into my office, beat me, destroyed my office, and held me captive on top of a giant hill?"

"Yeah, Like it happened yester-

"It happened 15 minutes ago, you ass!"

Ed beamed with pride. "Good times, Eddy." The two stopped talking, and watched the nature around them.

"Don't bother getting my office back up." Said Eddy, silently.

"Like there was much of an office!" laughed Ed, but changed his tone, as he looked at how depressed his friend was. "What is wrong?"

Eddy, after saying nothing, spoke. "My father had the _Edward and Son Auto Dealer _for 20 years. Not much of anything, but above all, he always made sure of two things. One, that no lemons ever made the front line, and two, to treat everyone with respect...

Eddy sighed pitifully.

"Is there a point to this? I'm not here to listen to multiple life stories."

Eddy almost lost it, but cooled down immediately, unfortunately, Ed yawned. Rudely.

He heated up again "I slowly brung my father's biz down the toilet, okay! I got sexual harassment charges coming out my ass! Some rookie thinks he can buy my dealership! I haven't slept in weeks!"

"Uh Eddy?" muttered Ed uneasily; Eddy continued to rant.

"I didn't get any in months! I smell like a gym bag! **Your** gym bag! That Double Dipstick is trying to make a move on Sarah..."

"Dipstick?" Ed said silently. "Sarah?"

"And above all..." Eddy's tone lessened, he became depressed, and his eyes softened.

He laid down on the hill, and let himself roll.

When Ed finally got down the hill, he saw poor Eddy walking slowly to the city.

"Little Buddy, Wait!"

"I'm not little, I'm vertically challenged!" yelled Eddy. He looked back, and saw nothing. He turned around, and saw Lumpy.

"What is wrong, friend? Don't leave without sharing..." Eddy sat down, and sighed.

With a bit of uncertainty, Eddy started. "My father died in Miami one week ago. Car crash. I didn't bother to go to the funeral, I stayed home, crying, working. I didn't even speak to my brother, who by the way, went to the funeral...Happy, now?"

Ed looked shocked at his young friend, who is now, fatherless. Ed decided to make him feel better.

"We're going to Miami!" Eddy looked up at the idiot.

"I'm not go-

"I'll pack my things, and well, everybody else!"

"Ed-"

"And you'll get to kiss the mortician."

Eddy stared at him. "What?"

"When my Grammy died when I was...this many," Ed held out 10 fingers. "I went to the funeral, and everything was so well done, I kissed the mortician. She wasn't that cute though, and she smelled like eggs.

"...Ed."

Ed grinned in a way he hasn't in a long time. "It'll be great! Meet me at my house in 1 day!" He slapped Eddy, this time knocking him out the 1st hit. He grabbed Eddy's limp body, and skipped toward the city.

"Yaw! We're going to Miami! Miami, Miami, we're going to Miami, who as big and round as snow! Ed sang, and laughed heartily, Unknown to him that Eddy doesn't want to go, to Miami.

Why doesn't Eddy want to go Miami? Is Double Dip- I mean Double D really trying to make a move on Sarah? What will happen to the picture of Kevin drunk, and what of Kevin? And Ed kissing a mortician?

What is that about?

Stay tuned!!!!


End file.
